Archive for August, 2008

from udders to old dudes…

i was driving home from work tonight… a very large white pick up truck with idaho plates and a flat bed trailer came barreling up behind me….  i was in the slow lane doing about 5 over the speed limit so i just let him ride more or less in the back of my truck for a few minutes ~ he finally passed me and on the flatbed were six plastic totes (i would guess that each one would hold about 500 to 600 pounds of liquid)  each tote was labeled TEAT DIP….  i was going to try to get a photo, but couldn’t quite safely manuver my driving and my purse and the camera…. anyway i did get close enough to confirm that the totes were indeed labeled TEAT DIP. i caught up with the truck just as it slowed down and turned into the dairy systems co parking lot.  by now i am caclulating that if he is taking 6 totes in to be refilled (aprox 2500 to 3500 lbs) how the hell much TEAT DIP do they have on hand at the dairy systems company?  there must be a gigantic tank of the stuff…

THEN i saw a 1000 year old dude in a long sleeved white shirt and trousers on a bicycle cross the highway in after work time traffic…. quickly, i might add, no hesitation, just peddled his ass across the highway. amazing, i swear he was 1000 years old!  and i was WAY impressed.  i hope i will be able to move that fast when i am 1000 years old.


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give me your editorial opinion on this…. i’m going to relate a hypothetical story here, all names have been changed [or left out], so if this sounds familiar, like someplace you may have been recently it’s not, it’s hypothetical, i made it up ~ yea that’s it, i made it up to find out your editorial opinion ~

a very nice person is having a birthday, a monumental birthday, um let’s say one of the even 10’s somewhere between 50 and 70…. [doesn’t need to be a birthday, could be any special occasion where let’s say 25 people are invited].  another very nice person plans a quite elegant surprise brunch at one of the fanciest restaurants in the whole kingdom.

the invitation specified “Dutch Treat Style”.   when i say specified i mean it said:  “please join us for a dutch-treat style” birthday brunch….


Heritage® Dictionary

Dutch treat (n.) An outing, as for dinner or a movie, in which all persons pay their own expenses.
the event was wonderful, good company, good food, good atmosphere, good bloody marys [whoops i digress] a very nice time.
ok, i have had bad experiences with this kind of thing before, i am not saying that this is the only time something like this has happened.  usually it is when a gaggle of women go out and eat and drink and then quibble over the check for 45 minutes because, ‘i only had one drink’, ‘i didn’t have the squid’, ‘i only had three orders of fries’, ‘i only had the salad’, ‘i only had one drink’, ‘i’m a cheap stupid bitch and i’m going to get out of this for as little as possible’… oh, wait, i digress again.  [i can bet if you are a female and have been out with more than 2 other females at once you have been there too]
anyway back to my hypothetical story… [the plan was, we were supposed to keep track of what we had and then give the nice person who planned this whole thing our portion of the check.  now, portion of the check would include food, beverages, tax, and your own portion of the 15% gratuity….which in this case turned out to be $150]  {not cocktails because the drink tabs were separate, did i mention the good bloody marys?} 
do the math $150 = 15% of ?  or $150 divided by .15 = $1000, so the total bill was $1000 or so.
after some folks put their meals on their own credit cards the check was revised about 4 or 5 times [which totally confused the whole concept in the process] the final bill turned out to be around $750….  amount of money given to nice planning person…  $485… no matter how we counted it we could not squeeze more  money out of the the wad of dead presidents.  aside from the fact that standing there counting money over and over again is embarrassing the nice planning person got stiffed to the tune of a couple of hundred dollars…. he paid the bill put the balance on his credit card and we left. [everyone else was pretty much gone by then]
now there used to be a group of 10 of my friends who went to brunch every sunday for about a year.  we would get the bill and divide it by 10 and each pay that amount.  we figured that it didn’t really matter what we each had because it would all even out in the wash.
problem is, the 25 people that were at brunch yesterday will probably never all be in the same room at the same time again, and certainly not enough times to make everything even out in the wash.  the nice person that planned this whole thing worked very hard to make this an enjoyable experience for the nice person with the birthday.  i feel bad that after doing all that work he got stiffed….  just life i guess, but still makes me feel bad.
so, what is your editorial opinion on this hypothetical story?  your comment can be anonymous if you wish, just say something on the subject.
next time i think we will say “separate checks please”…

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bridge is having a photo contest, go here to check out the rules… there is also a prize involved!

this is my entry….

it’s not very fancy and i was going to spend more time today trying to find something else to capture, but i’m posting this mostly just to participate! 

this is entitled, ‘fruit of the vine’


this photo was taken today, i held the camera, i pushed the button. bridge you have my permission to put this photo on your contest post….

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have grabbed me with their nasty teeth and refuse to let me go…. i wander from place to place, with my to do list in hand, realizing that i have about 25% of 50% of the items finished and i really don’t give a shit! 

my front lawn is mowed and basically beautimus, because other people can see it, my back lawn is covered with droppings off of the tree from hell [see post below] and i just can’t muster up enough ambition to go out and work on it. 

i have looked at my fantasy football team [the golden graboids] once today to make sure i have everything in order… no this is not an obsession [Allen!], but it is like a job.  you must manage early, especially when you didn’t get hardly any of the players you wanted because of the V,LDDoS you were too lazy to sit through a live draft.  i’m sure i will keep you all up to date on the status of my team… [no it is not an obsession].  oh and jess, i got one of those ‘error has occurred’ messages from our buds at fox sports this morning…

in the last two days i have brushed enough hair off my dog and my big fat cat to make an afghan, a sweater and at least two rats in dog suits.  my dog will not come near me, he has had enough.  i don’t know about everywhere, but here in northern utah [utah’s canada] the seasons were late this year.  usually all this shedding stuff is over by the end of june, well it’s almost fall and the animals are still in full shed mode.

pardon me for a minute, i need to go make some sugar water for the hummingbirds…. they seem to be migrating again, and there are lots in my yard… i love that part about being home during the day, i get to see all the hummingbirds….

i’m back.  speaking of humming bird feeders… i have two, a giant one that holds quite a bit of liquid, but i never fill it all the way up because the effing earwigs get in it and die and pollute the whole thing and a small one [best 1 hummingbird feeder] that works really well and doesn’t spill all over the place when the wind is blowing.  i had an old one of these, but after about 10 years the base finally broke, and although the new one is easier to clean, i don’t really think it works as well because the sugar water doesn’t flow down into the base as well and i have to go out and move it around to get the nectar down to where the hummingbirds can get at it.

this has been a good year for hummingbird feeders because [possibly because of the late seasons] we haven’t had nearly as many wasps this year.  so not as many wasps hanging around the feeders and chasing the hummingbirds off.  this is probably sick and wrong, but i have a ‘bug zapper’ that looks like a small tennis racket, in summer’s past i have taken the zapper out and zapped the wasps and then dropped them by the bushes where i know that spiders hang out, since the wasps are just stunned and not dead the spiders come out and claim a nice dinner.  i just think of it as life in the food chain, well kind of.

although being quite lazy today, i am actually multi tasking, i am doing laundry as we speak, which [to conserve energy and money] i hang outside during the summer…  and since the washer just finished i am going to go do that!   after i run spell check, not because i can’t spell, but because i can’t type! oh and because i am OCD about that.

this is the old hummingbird feeder and you can see my laundry on the line in the distance.

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these are soooo yummy  they are made in hyde park. we found them at fish lake; so look for them where ever you may be and for you cache valley folks, they are at both lee’s and at macey’s

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1.  Biscoff cookies are the bomb!  Apparently, you can buy them in the grocery store, but then they wouldn’t be such a treat.  Years ago Ellen DeGeneres had a bit about eating peanuts on an airplane that was hysterical…. well that’s how Biscoff cookies are to me ~ “I’ll have the cookies, please”, “thank you”.  Grab, rip, break in half, inhale, repeat step four 4 times…. eat crumbs from the napkin, from your shirt; hell, from the seat! lick your lips, lick the wrapper, drink your club soda, take a nap, read a book.

2.  I cannot understand why people take pillows on vacation…. is it a medical requirement or a security blanket kind of thing….?  I know I wouldn’t want to bring a pillow home and put it back in my bed after it had been on a plane, in an airport, in the back of a cab, in a motel, on a ride in disneyland, to branson, to las vegas, in a tent, in the dirt; sweated on, sneezed on, coughed on, sat on; dropped, picked up and X-rayed….

3.  Don’t people own a mirror any more?  Do they not look at themselves before they go out?  Do 18 year old girls with pot bellies, no waist and saggy butts not know what they actually look like in a bikini???  Don’t they care?  I’m not saying that we all need to look like demi moore in ‘charlie’s angels’, but for hell’s sake, take a good look at your ass before you go out and parade yourself in the street!  have a little pride.

4.  Going to a Karaoke bar is fun…. especially if you have about 5 shots of tequila….. i didn’t sing, but i’m going to practice up for next time. [p.s. i did sing along]

5.  I think it would really suck to have a beautiful house on Catalia and then have your street included on the ‘scenic tour’ so you could have hundreds of noisy golf carts full of tourists go by your house every day…

6.  Why, when you are camping and you are standing looking at nothing in particular, do people stop and ask “what are you looking at”….???

7.  it really sucks to break a cork screw… but a hammer and screw driver work if you don’t mind a little [artificial] cork in your wine.

8.  tequila and santana on a rainy day go quite well together!

9.  chipmonks will not eat a pork chop.

10. don’t piss off a beaver!

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the tree from hell!

in a previous post i commented on how nice my yard looked and how it probably wouldn’t be that way for too much longer because i have “the messiest tree in the world”… well it has started dripping sap and dropping various bits and pieces of ornamentation that make my yard look like crap and make my dog look like a float in the rose parade….  see:

linden trees are very nice trees, beautiful shape, lots of shade…. but it you are contemplating planting one check to see if there is a male tree that doesn’t want to decorate everything in your yard…  [i checked several places, there appears to be a seedless variety….]

my dog [besides looking very festive] is in full shedding mode.  i just spent about half an hour brushing a grocery sack full of hair off his right butt cheek!!! now i am in the process of cutting matts off his back legs. 

i’ve been on vacation for a couple of weeks…. catalina island at 0 feet above sea level and fish lake at 8700 feet… both nautical themes, well at least they both had water and boats [ha!].  will comment on those trips later [and a whole bunch of other stuff i have been saving up!]

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