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Archive for March, 2009

the photos below are of my fat cat in the foreground my normal sized cat in the background….  i think one of these would be a nice addition to lolcats.  [see more fun cat photos in the previous post below]

contest:  got to lolcats, so you get the idea, then submit a caption for one or both of these photos…  a crack team of tame racing judges will pick a winner and then submit the photo + caption to lolcats/icanhascheesburger.  you will get full literary credit for your caption, i will get full credit for feeding this beast!  [i will research and determine which one is the true lolcats and which one will give us the most press, it’s all about exposure] please specify photo A or photo B when entering your caption in the contest.

 

PHOTO A

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PHOTO B

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prize: you can pick either:

 a personalized refillable starbucks card or a gift cert to amazon.com

contest deadline : april fool’s day 12 midnight

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i take about 3 baths a year.  bathing relaxes me very much; which is not useful in the morning when trying to get ready for work.  and let’s face it, no one under the age of  50  40  35  28 wants to look down at themselves in a bathtub. [that’s why someone invented bubble bath for hell’s sake]. but, after spending most of yesterday and part of this morning cleaning off the patio, raking and picking up 2 months worth of dog pooh, constructing a stairway [of sorts] for my giant cat** and doing laundry ~ this afternoon i was old beyond my years and my back was killing me. 

my brother in law gave me this for Christmas:

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so i decided today would be the perfect time to try it out.  [it’s all raining and dark and dreary and i figured that if i didn’t turn on the lights  in the bathroom i wouldn’t accidentally look down and see myself] …

i started drawing a bath, lit some really good incense [the kind you purchase in a head shop, not that cheap-ass stuff that smells like your house is on fire!] and prepared to be relaxed.  i was determined that i was going to soak in that hot mineral bath until my toes got at least a little bit pruny!

the instructions said to “use a generous handful after you enter the warm bath” which i did and it immediately smelled like dirt.  at this point i am thinking to myself [and knowing that the butlers are not above giving prank gifts for Christmas] i bet this is joke and this stuff is going to turn me green or something….  well it didn’t, i added a little more and i relaxed “as the essential oils remarkably soothe your [my] tired old ass”…  i would highly recommend this stuff.  i feel great now! thanks randy!!

**there is no way james can jump high enough, given his girth, to get on the bed and he keeps falling off the chair that he used to use to get up there and i was afraid he was going to break something or cause a tsunami so i fashioned this for him [i have a similar one for myself on the other side]:

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and here he is:

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sorry jeff, i’m too pooped to lift him on the scales to see how much he weighs right now [i will update the diet progress report later]… 

~about a half hour later~ this is an undoctored photograph [that’s what they used to call them before photoshop…] james and nikita [for comparison’s sake] nikita is a slightly petite, but relatively normal sized, but miserable house cat.  james on the other hand…

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damn! now i can’t remember what i went back in the bedroom for!

 

and here he is [the out take]:

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priceless!!

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i was on a dreaded combo conference call .slash. webinar [OMG] today and during one point we got to see the ‘presentor’s’ screen saver.  a nice photo of a tom petty concert ~ she said ‘i saw him last week, it was on my bucket list’ then ‘can you believe i have a bucket list, i’m only 50′. well, boys and girls, that got me thinking ~ i don’t have a bucket list, i’m way past 50 ~ i think i need a bucket list….

ok, number one, 1, first, the beginning ~ i got nothin’ -tick-tick-tick-tick…..wait, i thought of something ~

1. be on a beach somewhere [anywhere] in the good old US of America where i am the only person for as far as i can see [or at least a mile in each direction].

2. go back to boston and eat at legal seafood.

3. own a sportscar again [one that will go naught to 60 in way less than 10 sec].

4. get back in some kind of decent physical shape

5. find a red wine i actually like

6. go to Easter sunrise service on hidden peak at snowbird

more later ~ I think this should be hand written to be binding, but i’ll worry about that later too…

update, march 20:

7. ride the train from slc to seattle

update, march 26

8. go to race driving school

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today, barbie turns 50… my barbie is only 46, but who’s counting?!  last june i wrote a post about my barbies which ended with “photos to follow….”  well, i hope you haven’t been holding your breath, but either way here they are~ photos of barbie and midge her BFF dressed, ummm let’s say for a little trip to somewhere warm and sunny….

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the clothes were usually somewhat more expensive than the dolls, i thought my barbie was about $3.95 but i got her the year before i got midge and midge was only $3.00

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the reason the clothes were more expensive is because they were actually very well made.  little buttons and zippers and ‘barbie’ tags in each piece

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time to go back to where ever it is I have been for these last 35 years or so….

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oh yes, back into the boxes

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this one is especially for the over thinker, no explanation necessary!

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feb-09-023

i put my giant cat on a diet.  he is eating food that is duck and pea [kind of sounds like something you would do on a long hike in the woods…]  i guess it is like putting my cat on the atkins diet.  he doesn’t seem any thinner, but he’s only been at this for a week.  maybe i will weigh him today and then i can post his results.

i was on facebook a few minutes ago, checking out some old friends from high school, waiting for a couple of them to ‘verify’ that they know me and let me be their friend or whatever.  face book is so manic that it drives me crazy…. i like being able to see eveyone’s family photos and i like knowing that my nephew is taking his boys skiing today, but holy hell people quit sending me all those little kisses and hugs and flowers and drinks and shit!  i know what it is, facebook is a full time job!  i’m not interested in another full time job!

my friend jess is sometimes on a radio show on fridays here in utah’s canada, so in the interest of trying to be in the know of what is going on in CV and possibly hear jess on the show, i have tried to listen to these two guys on the radio, several times in fact.  well, friday one of them said ‘suposably” ~ i’m done!  if i wan’t to listen to people butcher the english language i can do that at work.  jess doesn’t speak like that, so if she’s ever the guest host doing a solo show, maybe i will listen again.

i was trying to find some news about the legislature’s attempt to change utah’s liquor laws, i think they are still in session until tuesday or maybe monday night, but i did find this interesting tidbit:

Senate Agrees to Remove Stamps from Liquor Bottles  Utah would no longer place stickers on every bottle of beer, wine and liquor sold at state liquor stores under a bill initially approved by the Senate. The Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control places about 24 million stickers on the bottles every year at an annual cost of $950,000.  The stickers are meant to prevent bootlegging. from kutv.com

once again, daylight saving time has kicked my butt [you know i think it is a communist plot!] anyway, if i die of a heart attack this next week, i want someone to sue the federal govenment in my behalf and go on a big ass party!  [According to researchers in Finland, daylight saving time has mixed effects on people’s health. Sleeping patterns are disturbed, more so with night owls than morning folk. Another study found a spike in heart attacks during the first week of daylight saving time. When it ends in the fall, heart attacks briefly become less frequent than normal.]  dayton daily news

ps ~ remember to change the batteries in your smoke detectors!

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