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Archive for the ‘it’s been a long ass day!’ Category

i take about 3 baths a year.  bathing relaxes me very much; which is not useful in the morning when trying to get ready for work.  and let’s face it, no one under the age of  50  40  35  28 wants to look down at themselves in a bathtub. [that’s why someone invented bubble bath for hell’s sake]. but, after spending most of yesterday and part of this morning cleaning off the patio, raking and picking up 2 months worth of dog pooh, constructing a stairway [of sorts] for my giant cat** and doing laundry ~ this afternoon i was old beyond my years and my back was killing me. 

my brother in law gave me this for Christmas:

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so i decided today would be the perfect time to try it out.  [it’s all raining and dark and dreary and i figured that if i didn’t turn on the lights  in the bathroom i wouldn’t accidentally look down and see myself] …

i started drawing a bath, lit some really good incense [the kind you purchase in a head shop, not that cheap-ass stuff that smells like your house is on fire!] and prepared to be relaxed.  i was determined that i was going to soak in that hot mineral bath until my toes got at least a little bit pruny!

the instructions said to “use a generous handful after you enter the warm bath” which i did and it immediately smelled like dirt.  at this point i am thinking to myself [and knowing that the butlers are not above giving prank gifts for Christmas] i bet this is joke and this stuff is going to turn me green or something….  well it didn’t, i added a little more and i relaxed “as the essential oils remarkably soothe your [my] tired old ass”…  i would highly recommend this stuff.  i feel great now! thanks randy!!

**there is no way james can jump high enough, given his girth, to get on the bed and he keeps falling off the chair that he used to use to get up there and i was afraid he was going to break something or cause a tsunami so i fashioned this for him [i have a similar one for myself on the other side]:

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and here he is:

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sorry jeff, i’m too pooped to lift him on the scales to see how much he weighs right now [i will update the diet progress report later]… 

~about a half hour later~ this is an undoctored photograph [that’s what they used to call them before photoshop…] james and nikita [for comparison’s sake] nikita is a slightly petite, but relatively normal sized, but miserable house cat.  james on the other hand…

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damn! now i can’t remember what i went back in the bedroom for!

 

and here he is [the out take]:

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priceless!!

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it was friday, i had a crappy long day at work, i was going to go directly to the liquor store and buy some beer [for myself] and do some christmas shopping while i was there.  i had to drop a package off at fedex for work before i could go to the liquor store, but it was my second stop….

since the liquor store can not sell cold beer, i had to come home and put a couple of bottles in the freezer and [you guessed it!] beer slushies again! 

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i know, i know, i got several suggestions on how to quickly cool beer without putting it in the freezer, but it was [not necessarily the quickest] definitely the easiest.

so, i had a couple of beers and was sitting on the couch watching ghost whisperer when my [giant] cat james jumped up and laid down …. jumped is not exactly what he did, but he did manage to get his body on to the couch and flopped down in his spot.  now james [as some of you may know] is a large cat, and being a large cat he has [some] difficulty [no way!]  in reaching his nether regions for personal hygiene.  the parts of his body he can reach are quite clean, soft and shiny, but the parts he can’t are taken care of by me using a baby wipe.  which he absolutely hates, by the way.

so, i glance at him and think [out loud] ‘you are a scum and you need a bath’.  well before i can talk my self out of it [come to my senses], i hit pause on the DVR, i put water in the tub, get an old water pitcher, some old towels and herd him into the bathroom. 

this is not his first bath and he actually doesn’t mind the water, shampooing and scrubbing part. what he does hate is the drying off part, but when a 35 pound cat flops out of the bathtub soaking wet he takes a lot of water with him.  so in order not to completely flood the bathroom i have to have old towels ready to soak up the water, in no way can i try to dry him off, because [as some of you may also know] he is mean.

ok, so [check title of this post] i think ‘i should take a photo’, well this is the best i could do with one hand.

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he doesn’t exactly look like this is the worst thing that has ever happened to him… although he does look a little unhappy.

it only took him about 5 hours to finally get dry and i did chase him around with a towel to soak up some of the excess.  he was pretty good about the whole situation and [allen, this one’s for you] he is now shiny and soft and smells good too!

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ain’t he cute?!

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i just spent two whole days in front of the computer at work…. 8 hours straight X 2, except for the ocassional potty break.

i have been sooooo healthy this year that my flex spending has only paid me $21, so today i went out and bought a really nice pair of [bifocal, polarized] sunglasses! i will post a photo as soon as they get here. not quite jackie kennedy style, but pretty cool, non the less.

i am an idiot and forgot to look at my fantasy football line up when i got home tonight and [of course] the chargers finally got their heads out of their collective butts and kicked ass. next year i have a new plan… it involves champagne and dice.

i’m going to bed now and if i don’t spend another whole day in front of the computer tomorrow i will try to be a little more social!

my cat is snoring in tongues again.

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i snaked this from the overthinker…. thanks BTW!

 

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names)   Mary Kenneth

2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother’s dad, father’s dad)   Jock Samuel
3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name) Pakath

4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)   Mauve Dog
5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)   Mae Heights
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add “THE” to the beginning)
The Maroon Tequila [will kick your ass!]

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)  Kall

8. GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie):   Licorice Sugar [yea, i’m bad]
9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet’s name, current street name)   Simon Seventh
10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)   Jingles Bridge

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Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz

i totally snaked this from jess over at SHSNE…. i’m a sheep and it’s been a long day and i feel like a dweeb if i don’t at least put something here a couple of times a week.  oh and if you don’t want to take the test, just go take a peek at the playtex girdle ad with marilyn and apparently someone named jackie….who may or may not be holding some kind of ’50s sexual aide.

 You are a Marilyn — “I am affectionate and skeptical.”  Marilyns are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

 

How to Get Along with Me 

  • * Be direct and clear
  • * Listen to me carefully
  • * Don’t judge me for my anxiety
  • * Work things through with me
  • * Reassure me that everything is OK between us
  • * Laugh and make jokes with me
  • * Gently push me toward new experiences
  • * Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Marilyn  

  • * being committed and faithful to family and friends
  • * being responsible and hardworking
  • * being compassionate toward others
  • * having intellect and wit
  • * being a nonconformist
  • * confronting danger bravely
  • * being direct and assertive

What’s Hard About Being a Marilyn  

  • * the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
  • * procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
  • * fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
  • * exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
  • * wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
  • * being too critical of myself when I haven’t lived up to my expectations

 Marilyns as Children Often

  • * are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
  • * are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
  • * form a team of “us against them” with a best friend or parent
  • * look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
  • * are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Marilyns as Parents  

  • * are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
  • * are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
  • * worry more than most that their children will get hurt
  • * sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

 

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