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dear sally and dino ~

this is an open letter to one of my oldest friends and one of my best friends…. you both left me ~ and if you don’t think we were all connected, it seems [i found out today] that you, dino, died on sally’s birthday…

i miss you both ~ for a bunch of different reasons, but none more important that the fact that i loved you both.

sal, when i went to san diego to see the aggies play san diego state [which turned out to be an ass kicking on their part]  it was the first time i had been to the stadium without you… that wasn’t the most difficult part.  my sweet brother took us to dinner at sally’s and we sat in the [general area] of our favorite table.  the menu [as you know] isn’t quite the same as when we used to go there, but the place is still the same and i missed you being there ~ having a bloody mary and eating  blackened shrimp caesar salad…[without the stinking anchovies]  i had some kind of scallop thing and we toasted you.  then after dinner my sweet brother drove us over to the parking lot by the midway [i couldn’t figure out what was going on] he had a cooler in the [supervisor] truck and he took out some o’doules and opened them ~ when i turned around i noticed that we were right by the hill where we used to watch the parade for the holiday bowl… it was dark and i walked over there with my o’doules and stood on ‘our spot’ and boobed like a baby, i missed you so much!  then a remarkable think happened ~ they started shooting fireworks off of the deck of the midway ~ just like they were doing that for you or like you told them to or whatever, but it was wonderful ~ you know one thing that i really regret, is that we never went to balboa park and laid on the grass with a big pile of one dollar bills and looked up at the sky and bet on what kind of plane would fly over next [like we always said we would]… i promise you that someday i am going to do that and you’d better bet me from heaven, which won’t really be fair because you will be able to see the planes before i do!

dino, i found out today that you died on sally’s birthday, just 3 days short of your own… and you managed to get out earlier than your parole date!  and this time they can’t tack on another 8 years!   i sincerely hope there was a nice stray dog waiting for you on the rainbow bridge and you now have all the things you wanted that you were never able to get in this life…  i am going to write your son a letter tomorrow and see if i can find out where you are buried… i would at least like to know that.  i am [just] a little pissed because apparently you never did let anyone [but me] know what your wishes were.  well, like i always said when i missed one of your phone calls ~ it’s not like i can just call you back…  things are just things and i’m going to quit fretting about it, because it is way out of my control! 

well, my friends, i toast you both, for the things we had and the things we planned that never came to pass.  i cherish all the memories and the love we shared… you were so different and so much a part of my life, i miss you and i know you are both now at peace…  remember when i dream about you, wave and i will wave back!

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it was hot, we paid $20 for parking in rio tinto stadium’s tiny parking lot [big mistake, more on that later], got out of the truck and paul mccartney was doing his sound check [right then]  ~bonus! stood in the hot sun and listened…. it was hot, but that was cool.

walked to nearby jordon commons to have dinner, decided on the mayan [big mistake, more on that now]… eating at the mayan is like eating in a cave, it’s dark, it’s dreary, the atmosphere sux, there is a live ‘show’ of half to three quarters naked young men and women diving off the plastic rock cliffs into a plastic rock pond. [not complaining here you should have seen the six pack on this kid] [i’m sure he was at least 18 so don’t call the authorities].  so while it is too dark to see what you are eating you also have to worry about getting splashed by water from the plastic rock pond.  on a positive note, the food was very good, i would eat it again, i just wouldn’t  eat it again in the mayan… AND larry h. miller must have spent a lot of money on coolers because the beer was coooold, really cold, like frosty cold, thanks larry.  it was hot and the beer was cooold.

it’s utah and of course the concert started late, tickets said 7:30 and the concert started at about 8:05 ~ i don’t know if they lied on the tickets to make sure everyone got there on time or what, but since we had nosebleed seats [but pretty good ones] we were in the sun for most of the time prior to the concert starting.  we bought some bottled water from a woman outside “jim’s diner” a little dive a little north of 9400 on state street… [i would like to go check this place out sometime… looked very interesting].  that water saved our lives since they had water in the venue, but the lines were very long and the only thing they were selling inside the stadium was budweiser for $9 a glass [it was a very large glass, didn’t i  buy any cuz nothing says refreshment like a piss warm, flat budweiser]… water in front of  jim’s $1, that was cool.

paul mccartney was absolutely amazing… he played for 3 hours and 15 minutes, never left the stage [actually i don’t think he ever even had a drink of water]…. he played his stuff, the beatles stuff, a little jimi hendrix, wings stuff, new stuff, told stories, talked to the crowd, asked ‘do you wonder why we are using so many guitars?’  “….we’re just showing off.”   he looks like he is still enjoying himself,  if the crowd was really into a song [singing along] he would just keep playing and we would just keep on singing….  he did three encores!  he slowed everything down [twice] and then came back and played ‘helter skelter’.   he told why he wrote ‘blackbird’ [civil rights in arkansas in the ’60s]. he talked about writing ‘my love does it good’ for linda, he talked about writing a song for john about a conversation they would never have and that we should always take the time to tell someone ‘i love you’…

my favorite song of the night was ‘let it be’.  ‘give peace a chance’ maybe a close second.  most fun ~ ‘ O bla de O bla dah’…  he was amazing, amazing!! best concert of my young life and i’m not that young and  i’ve been to a lot of concerts!  best $46 investment i’ve ever made.  that was cool!

when we left the concert there were still folks selling $1 bottles of water in front of jim’s [don’t tell them,  but at that point i would have paid them 5!]

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why is it that your hair always looks the best (1) right before you go to bed or (2) the day you are going to get it cut?

yesterday i was driving home and stopped at a stop light behind a white mini van (aka big mormon wagon), the van contained a dad and several children…  there was a bumper sticker on the van.  white with red letters it said “I ♥ Beaver” ** ~ well that’s obvious dude!

not that this is any of my business  (please note the name of this blog) but, i like sandra bullock, i like jesse james, i’m pretty sure that they like each other ~ i seriously hope they work things out get back together…

one important thing president obama has accomplished ~ my white trash republican friends and family have finally stopped emailing me crap about bill clinton….

i had to go buy more peeps yesterday, i ate all the ones i bought about a month ago… if i give up sweets for lent i don’t have this problem they last until easter, but this year i gave up beer. …on a related note, it is wrong to have beer for breakfast on easter??

my friend annika lent me the “sookie  stackhouse” novels… yea, yea, i know; more vampire porn ~ i read the first three and went to start the forth and it wasn’t there… it’s titled  dead to the world  and i went to borders yesterday and used my 30% off coupon to purchase it (don’t want to read vampire porn out of order, might confuse myself)… so, annika, FYI,  if you missed this one, it will be with the others when you get them back.

how many commas can YOU correctly use in one sentence??

craig ferguson is hysterical.

** full disclosure ~ beaver mountain is the local ski resort, so it’s entirely possible that white van dude is an avid skier.  but i totally convinced that whoever came up with those bumper stickers knew exactly what he was doing when he had them printed. ♥

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when i was a kid we weren’t allowed to trick or treat, not by our parents, but by the town.  no one ever told us why and we didn’t argue.  we would all put on our halloween costumes go to the high school gym and the city put on a halloween party for every kid in town. there were games and prizes and treats (an orange and peanuts if i remember correctly), a costume parade and we all had the best time.  my mom usually made my costumes and the one i remember most was when i was maybe in 5th grade and i went as half man half woman.  if you looked at me from the right i looked like a man with a suit and a mustache and from the left i looked like  a woman with a dress and earring and curly hair.  don’t remember exactly how she did it, but it was pretty cool (damn, no one took photos of anything in those days!)  ~ then around 8:00 pm or so we went to the school lunch room had sloppy joes and home made root beer and then we went home…. 

around 9:00 pm after all the little kids were home;  the city sponsored a party for all the teenagers ~ no one argued about that either.  there was a dance at the high school, BUT to get into the dance you had to go through the spook house (set up and manned by the senior class) in every nook and cranny of the old high school… it was nothing for the weak of heart and was WAY before anyone worried about whether or not you might scare someone to death, break a leg falling (or being pushed) down the stairs, send someone into cardiac arrest from ‘the shocker’, or puke your guts out from looking at (real) intestines of some poor dead animal draped over someone in a coffin.  if you did manage to make it through the whole ordeal there was a dance with treats and punch.  i don’t think we were allowed to wear costumes to the dance in high school, we didn’t argue about that either. 

I remember standing in the parking lot of the school being so scared of going into the spook house that we were all about ready to pee our pants ~ i also remember going through the year i was a junior and my boyfriend was a senior ~ while someone was pushing one of the eight graders down the stairs or shocking the living shit out of some poor kid we were making out in the ‘bottom hall’….. 

the year i was a senior i was a corpse in a coffin under the ’10 foot drop’ and some drunk from payson tried to climb in the coffin with me ~ mike drussel saved me while holding  a hand full of slimy animal intestines.   we actually made a slide out of rusty metal to push people down the stairs from the second floor to the basement.  i think we thought that was more safe than just hucking them down the stairs.

to this day i still do not know why we weren’t allowed to trick or treat, i asked my friend pam that today and she doesn’t know either ~ it must have been something pretty awful because no one would ever talk about it.  i think someone must have died or been kidnapped or something, none the less we were much safer getting thrown down the stairs!

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july 22, 1914

today is my mother’s birthday.  she was a cancer, my birthday is two weeks from today, i am a leo.  she would have been 95 years old today.  she wasn’t just my mom, she was my best friend.

she called my every saturday at 11:30 in the morning from the time i went to college until she died in 1983.  

i’m a lot  like my mom… kind of head strong and independent.  i can fix almost anything given enough time [ha!].  once in the winter when my dad stayed out at dugway during the week and came home on the weekends, our coal furnace [actually it was a stoker matic] broke down.  we had a really old, small house and the winters were not very pleasant.  freezing ass cold mostly.   my dad was a furnace mechanic and my mom called him and told him the stove had gone out.  i remember her going back and forth between the phone and the stove until it was fixed and we were warm.  she also carried buckets of coal from the coal shed to the stove and buckets of ‘clinkers’ from the stove out to a pile by the coal shed… clinkers were cool, they were what was left in the stove after the coal had burned, they were like a red hot ring of melted coal ashes, i’m not sure of the chemistry, but they looked pretty neat.  [i don’t think i have ever been as warm as i was in the winter growing up with that coal heat]

i was mostly a total shit in high school, i was supposed to be home by 10:30 on school nights and i knew it ~ but i always would stay out late and the later it got the more i didn’t want to go home… the later it got the more likely it was to pass my mom walking to town to try and find me.  she would be smoking a cigarette and since she walked everywhere i could always spot her about a half mile away.  and because i was a dumb ass, i wouldn’t just go home then and pretend i had been there for a while when she got home, i would keep riding around and then go home late and be in trouble.  actually she would be pissed, but i never really got into much trouble.  i think it was punishment enough just to anticipate her being mad…

mom didn’t work when i was a little kid, she was always there when i went to school and when i came home for lunch and when i got home.  all of us kids played on the school grounds which were just behind our house and when it was time to come home at night she would just open the back door and yell my name. [i wasn’t old enough then to be a total shit so i would just come home when she called]…  [well i was a shit then too, but that is for another post]

mom went to work the summer before i went into the sixth grade, i wanted to go to girl scout camp and we couldn’t afford it so she got a job at Gig’s Cafe as a waitress.  needless to say i did go to girl scout camp that summer and my mom worked as a waitress until she retired.

when i was in college i used to go home in the summer.  my dad passed away in 1971 so my mom and i mostly just had each other after that…  we used to go up to a little bar in town called the Summitt.  i worked there during the day and mom and i would go up there in the evening to have a beer.  my mom always sat on the stool by the wall, i sat next to her, she always drank OLY, i did too.  i’m not sure they even make OLY anymore, but if i could find one i would drink it tonight!

i don’t have many photos of my parents and i…  people just didn’t take photos like they do now ~ i think this one is my favorite, on the back it says 11-4-51 SLC missed the train laid over 1 day… i think we had been home to visit and were on our way back to butte.

mom and me 1

i miss my mom, not all the time, but sometimes when i think of something we used to do or see something that reminds me of her ~ i wish her a happy birthday today and thank her for being my mom and my best friend.

 

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example number 1

my vacuum cleaner would not suck [which for most of life is a good thing. vacuum cleaner, not so much]  i have two dogs, it’s hot, it’s shedding season.  i cannot be without a vacuum cleaner, i was without a vacuum cleaner for 5 days last week. 

i was also sick for 2 1/2 days last week, which meant i was home looking at all the dog hair on the floor ~ when i was just about to go crazy i asked my peeps on facebook [uh] for suggestions  for a new vacuum cleaner [not more than $300 unless it also did the dishes].  4 out of 5 of my peeps suggested a dyson, the one peep that didn’t own the dyson said i should get a dyson animal [because of my pet situation]…

amazon.com has always been very good to me and they have free shipping ~ i was desparate at this point but still too sick to go shopping for a vacuum,  i ordered the dyson animal and paid for 2 day delivery…  at this point, way more than $300 by the way…

i got my new vacuum and i abosolutely love it, i probably vacuumed 5 times this weekend just so i could go hold the removable container over the garbage can and hit the button ~ it was soooo cool to watch dog hair and dirt and other stuff household crap fall into the garbage can without getting my hands the least little bit dirty.

sooo now i have an old vacuum, which because of the dog hair won’t work because dog hair chews the living shit out of vacuum cleaner belts…  soooo i took out the old bag, dusted that baby off and put it out at the end of my driveway with a sign on it that said FREE…  see:dog hair

now what you can’t see from the photo is what else it says on the sign…  “i put in a new bag”, “it needs a new belt”, “doesn’t work well with pet hair”, “if you can use it please take it”  it lasted exactly 2 hours and 6 minutes.

example number 2

last friday i came home from work and opened my [rural on the side of the street] mailbox…  and a bunch of wasps flew out at me and i didn’t have any mail.  on saturday i still didn’t have any mail, but the wasps were still in there busy enlarging their nest or hive or whatever the hell you call it.

since there is no mail delivery on sunday, i sort of forgot about the wasp problem in the mailbox and i also forgot to go buy any wasp spray killer.

so i went out and put a note on the mailbox that said the following: “CAUTION ~ wasp’s nest inside (back) ~ i will buy some spray today….” 

i drove home tonight after work and slowed down to get the mail out of the box and remembered that i had forgotten to stop and get wasp spray [the story of my life]… i drove past my house, went to the store and bought some spray.  i came home, opened the mail box took out my mail and murdered those little suckers.  i just finished cleaning the dead carcases out the mailbox and i removed the sign…

i know, i’m weird!

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dino…

that’s not his real name, but i didn’t change it protect his innocence ~ he lost that a long time ago.

that’s just his name ~ to me anyway ~ although i may be the only person that still calls him that.  dino has been in and out of prison since he got home from viet nam in 1972…  mostly in.  he’s still there now, anyway he better be.  i dreamed about him last night and he was here.  he had conned [HA!] a truck driver into bringing him here and then i overheard them taking about it and realized that he had escaped, again.  by his own account he has escaped eight times. he was released once, but only made it about 6 months.  maybe i should start at the beginning…

dino moved to my home town when i was in the eight grade, he was a classic juvenile delinquent, his hair was cut in a flat top and died red, he wore jeans and t-shirts and big leather boots.  the first day at school he got in a fight with one of the guys in my class, i still remember standing in the school parking lot watching them fight across the street ~ wasn’t on the school grounds so the town cop showed up and broke it up.  [the first time i saw dirty dancing and patrick swayze walked into that dining room i could only think of dino ~ not his looks exactly,  just the look of him]

now, i had been in love with craig sutherland since the forth grade, i got in trouble for writing kim + craig on the wall of the high school!  he had even given me a ring that he bought at lee’s variety store, it had a blue stone in it.  i can’t remember if i still had that ring when i was in eight grade, but it didn’t matter, this new bad boy had just stolen my heart!

dino was only in eureka for a couple of years.  he and chris evans ran away to price one night, chris came back, dino never did.  i did see him right before he left for viet nam, his cousin brought him to eureka and we talked out in front of my house.  i lost track of him after that until after my mom passed away.

i went down home to visit my aunt boo and she was up at her friend elsie’s house.  turns out that elsie had been given my mom’s old phone number.  we were taking and elsie said she had received a letter from someone asking about me…. someone named dino.  i said, the last time i heard anything about dino, he was in prison. [this was around 1985, i hadn’t heard anything about dino since 1972]  but, i did dream about him once.

elsie wouldn’t correspond with him about me with out asking my permission so i told her i would write to him…  i read the letter and it said that dino was in prison in gunnison utah and was looking through the phone books  and recognized a telephone  number ….6858.   he didn’t recognize elsie’s name, but did remember the number.  he wrote asking about my mom; and asked about me, because he thought i had died.

now you might not believe this next part, but i do…. apparently some time in the ’80s dino was in prison in california, he was stabbed in the shower and as he laid on the floor watching his blood run down the drain i came to him…. well i think that was the time i dreamed about him, that’s how i knew he was in prison.  he said he thought i was an angel, that’s why he thought i was dead… [my friend karla once told me ‘if you ever see me in your dreams, wave.  i will wave back…’]

i have been writing to him since then, my letters have followed him from gunnison, to cedar city, to new mexico, to colorado, to georgia, to pennsylvania, to florida.  i visited him twice ; once in cedar city and once in new mexico.  he’s my friend, i don’t know all he’s done in his life, i don’t judge the things i do know.  he has wives and girlfriends and children and grand children and he has me.  i don’t still have that school girl crush on him, but i will always have a place in my heart for him.

he has never shown up on my door step, but if he does, he’d better show up with release papers in his hand!   i must admit that the first thing i did this morning was get on the federal prison inmate locator site to make sure he was still where he was supposed to be, because sometimes in the last 37 years, he hasn’t been.

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